we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
