My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you made out with another girl for some wings
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
