im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
