Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
