found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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