I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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