Just cropdusted the office
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
