That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
