Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
