I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
