im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
