how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
