Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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