i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
