"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
