We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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