butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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