She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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