let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
