I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
