I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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