i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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