dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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