she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
