I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize