Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
