Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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