im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
