My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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