Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
this is an emotional support booty call
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
