yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
