She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
