i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He has the fingertips of a God
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