You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine