Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.

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  (850): Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now. (1-850): Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel. http://tfl.nu/j1ot
  Replies (80) Good night (4235) Bad night (836)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.

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  (856): When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again. http://tfl.nu/chm7
  Replies (10) Good night (1041) Bad night (3868)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.

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  (502): I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean. http://tfl.nu/5uk0
  Replies (6) Good night (4384) Bad night (1414)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?

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  (614): Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right? http://tfl.nu/mfqu
  Replies (5) Good night (882) Bad night (3231)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal

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  (713): just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal http://tfl.nu/dg00
  Replies (10) Good night (3627) Bad night (903)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  oh but she would

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  (802): she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor (1-802): oh but she would http://tfl.nu/kme5
  Replies (3) Good night (1349) Bad night (802)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...

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  (563): Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before... http://tfl.nu/eiiu
  Replies (9) Good night (696) Bad night (1807)
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  (310): View more from California

  I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.

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  (310): I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle. http://tfl.nu/a8xs
  Replies (0) Good night (800) Bad night (425)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face

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  (712): when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face http://tfl.nu/ax1i
  Replies (7) Good night (1362) Bad night (490)
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  (310): View more from California

  I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.

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  (310): I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me. http://tfl.nu/btwi
  Replies (3) Good night (421) Bad night (502)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.

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  (440): I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy. http://tfl.nu/x3g5
  Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.

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  (734): You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo. http://tfl.nu/r2ob
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.

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  (805): I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you. http://tfl.nu/8wct
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.

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  (317): You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear. http://tfl.nu/e71o
  Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward

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  (857): The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward http://tfl.nu/zcnh
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (248)

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