The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
