Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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