Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Walk of Shame today included voting.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
