Do vagina's smell?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
