Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
