I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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