insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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