oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
what day is it and did you see me today?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
