We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
