this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
