i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
