wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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