I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just pee around me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
