no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
