hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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