I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
