just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
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