What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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