she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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