Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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