I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
