i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
