it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
