I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize