I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
its not stalking. its research.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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