I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
