my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
