This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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