He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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